During the course of the day, we are all exposed to millions of potential influences. All of them call for your attention, for your valuable time. How do you know that it is something you should spend your time on? After all, time is more valuable than money!
When you engage in activities that are not part of your self-defined realm, you are engaging in people pleasing activities, ones that are all, in the end, completely selfish and dishonest.
How is doing things for others selfish? Isn’t that the opposite of what we were all taught in school? If you see someone collecting for cancer research, isn’t it the right thing to donate? If there is a friend or family member that you haven’t visited for a while and you feel guilty for not seeing them, isn’t it the right thing to go and visit them?
When acts are committed altruistically with someone else in mind, you might not have even noticed, but after a while, you expect something in return! Expecting something in return after an act done is entirely selfish, and why should it not be? It is the principle of business. I make/do something for you and you give me money. The problem is is that you expected something in return when your contract never mentioned anything in return!
The same goes for dating and relationships. When a man buys a woman flowers and takes her out to a lovely dinner when he only expects to take her home for the night, is that not entirely dishonest? Logically, he should just say he is looking to take her home for the night and leave it at that! The social conditioning we have all grown up with, however, makes us uneasy to admit our own needs and in the end, we do acts that are manipulative and dishonest.
It is important to admit that you have your own needs. You need shelter, love, acceptance, money, etc. And there is nothing wrong with that. I encourage everyone to start their own journals. Writing things down on paper has a very powerful effect on the mind and your direction in life, as has been evidenced by my years of journaling. Once you have bought a journal, start the first entry by writing down your needs and maybe even write down the ones you have been neglecting. Next, start writing “How To” questions to yourself about how you are going to fulfill those needs. You are identifying the problem so that you can repair it.
Join me next time for when I explain what to do after you have identified your needs and your want to fulfill them. How are employers looking for candidates?How to make sure that I come in in their search?